Sometimes, you know you are in the company of someone really amazing. Then these strange little things happen. Then I said how I really felt about sculpture and performance and KYTN and being a visual artist, and I didn't do my laugh afterwards, which was really amazing, because that laugh never leaves my side.
I was silently cursing myself for saying too much about something too personal, to a perfect stranger, then he told me about his divorce and then all of a sudden what I had said didn't seem so bad.
Then he read something I had written last week:
I'M SO BORED WITH MY STUDIO WORK. I WANT TO DO BIG THINGS NOT BORING THINGS. I NEED SOME INPUT SOME INFLUENCE. SOMETHING BIG.
And bloody hell, it turns out he does the same thing. He told me about his imagined mentor who gives him a hard time, and I couldn't stop thinking, 'I know her name, I've read this' and I whip out this library book and there they are, talking in it. He mentioned a piece of work they made called 'Lighten Up' and I couldn't stop smiling, it was so WEIRD.
And then chatting with James outside on the studio roof got me all fired up... it's back, something worked. Birds singing, live performance, parcel tape, being a VISUAL artist and MAKING THINGS.
I feel shaky and breathless and it's really fucking good. That's what it is.