Sunday, 14 March 2010

fluxing around

Its been a funny week.
I think it's quite universal that, after an exhibition opening/ performance/ essay hand in, this odd feeling sets in and becomes very hard to shake off. After Murmur Murmur, I became very unsure of my studio work and questioning why I was doing it, what I was making, if there was really any merit in making finished work. Dalziel & Scullion have been talking to us about the importance of finishing your work and how much you learn from this process. And it's so very true. Then, I worry that the only work i have finished is SWATTER.
I took a break from the studio for a few days. After a really good chat with Louise, I tidied the studio (a little - but it made a HUGE difference) then headed over to St. Andrews, walked on the beach, bought some books, got treated to a lovely dinner, kept avoiding the studio then went to work for a massive mail out, teetered around some exhibition openings - Lower Foyer Gallery, DCA then Tayside Recyclers before drowning myself in red wine and whiskey till 4am and walked home with the birds singing. And it WORKED. Something changed, I have the oddest sense of clarity.
My friend, Ashley Nieuwenhuizen, commented that my work in the studio is exciting because it has changed so much during the MFA. And it really has changed, I'm like a broken record - "I going to constantly challenge myself during the MFA", "I'm going to leave my comfort zone", "if you showed me a photograph of my studio now, I would NEVER have believed that it was mine 6 months ago", and the old favourite - "TOUGHEN UP", my new favourite "Lighten Up" and something that I heard very recently which is PERFECT - "I'm sincere, but not always serious".
It's hard to do this practice-led research/ research-led practice when your practice is fluxing around and your head is off in the clouds, but I'm coming back down and - bloody hell- I'm really looking forward to spending long days in the library. Me and Mac are gonna be B.U.S.Y. yeah.

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