Lighten Up yeah?

Sometimes, you know you are in the company of someone really amazing. Then these strange little things happen. Then I said how I really felt about sculpture and performance and KYTN and being a visual artist, and I didn't do my laugh afterwards, which was really amazing, because that laugh never leaves my side.

I was silently cursing myself for saying too much about something too personal, to a perfect stranger, then he told me about his divorce and then all of a sudden what I had said didn't seem so bad.

Then he read something I had written last week:

I'M SO BORED WITH MY STUDIO WORK. I WANT TO DO BIG THINGS NOT BORING THINGS. I NEED SOME INPUT SOME INFLUENCE. SOMETHING BIG.

LIGHTEN UP

TOUGHEN UP

And bloody hell, it turns out he does the same thing. He told me about his imagined mentor who gives him a hard time, and I couldn't stop thinking, 'I know her name, I've read this' and I whip out this library book and there they are, talking in it. He mentioned a piece of work they made called 'Lighten Up' and I couldn't stop smiling, it was so WEIRD.

And then chatting with James outside on the studio roof got me all fired up... it's back, something worked. Birds singing, live performance, parcel tape, being a VISUAL artist and MAKING THINGS.

I feel shaky and breathless and it's really fucking good. That's what it is.

fluxing around

Its been a funny week.

I think it's quite universal that, after an exhibition opening/ performance/ essay hand in, this odd feeling sets in and becomes very hard to shake off. After Murmur Murmur, I became very unsure of my studio work and questioning why I was doing it, what I was making, if there was really any merit in making finished work. Dalziel & Scullion have been talking to us about the importance of finishing your work and how much you learn from this process. And it's so very true. Then, I worry that the only work i have finished is SWATTER.

I took a break from the studio for a few days. After a really good chat with Louise, I tidied the studio (a little - but it made a HUGE difference) then headed over to St. Andrews, walked on the beach, bought some books, got treated to a lovely dinner, kept avoiding the studio then went to work for a massive mail out, teetered around some exhibition openings - Lower Foyer Gallery, DCA then Tayside Recyclers before drowning myself in red wine and whiskey till 4am and walked home with the birds singing. And it WORKED. Something changed, I have the oddest sense of clarity.

My friend, Ashley Nieuwenhuizen, commented that my work in the studio is exciting because it has changed so much during the MFA. And it really has changed, I'm like a broken record - "I going to constantly challenge myself during the MFA", "I'm going to leave my comfort zone", "if you showed me a photograph of my studio now, I would NEVER have believed that it was mine 6 months ago", and the old favourite - "TOUGHEN UP", my new favourite "Lighten Up" and something that I heard very recently which is PERFECT - "I'm sincere, but not always serious".

It's hard to do this practice-led research/ research-led practice when your practice is fluxing around and your head is off in the clouds, but I'm coming back down and - bloody hell- I'm really looking forward to spending long days in the library. Me and Mac are gonna be B.U.S.Y. yeah.

MURMUR MURMUR

Friday 5th March | 7-9PM | Crawford Building, Duncan of Jordanstone

Find us between the General Course Studios & the Fine Art Workshop

Join us for an evening of Printmaking, sound, video and live performance interventions.

And then for drinks & discussions from 9pm in the Art Bar.

ROWAN CORKILL | EMMA GOLDSTRAW | JANEY MUIR | ASHLEY NEIUWENHUIZEN

http://murmurcollective.wordpress.com/

the Britishness of British art

I'm researching the Britishness of British art - a working title that I've pinched from Julian Stallabrass. On the MFA, we're told that our dissertation should inform our studio practice and vise versa, my written and art practices are closely linked, but today... I felt like my research wall was lagging behind.

Here's to Vivienne Westwood, Pulp, 1970s childrens television, seaside resorts, Danny Boyle and the BBC.